Lillian's Secret
by yoursxforever
Summary: Lillian, daughter of Death Eater Bellatrix LeStrange, is sent on a task to gain the Weasley family's trust so that she can later on destroy them. But what if she falls for a certain Weasley boy, and has to choose between two families?
1. An Important Task

I lived to antagonize as much Gryffindors as I possibly could. It was just the right thing to do. From the moment I could understand what my aunt and uncle said to me, I was told that our family, our pureblood family tree, was the only worthy kind of people to befriend. That Muggles were filthy, that they belonged to the lower ranks of our society, along with Muggle born witches and wizards. I should be proud to be a pureblood, I should be proud to be a part of _their_ family. And I was.

Gryffindors were annoying, loud and **very** crowded with Mudbloods, so I naturally had to hate them. In my years at Hogwarts I was never too shy to let that fact show. I had built a certain reputation that Mudbloods better stayed out of my way, if they knew what was best for them. Sometimes, very rarely, I would lie in bed and think: _Do I actually want this?_

But merely the thought of betraying my family was absurd, and I would quickly let the matter go.

One thing that I always believed in, was family. Family was the most important thing in life, probably, next to magic. Without family you stand alone, and it doesn't matter how good a wizard or witch you are. You're still alone.

I always had to rely on my family. I never knew my mother. She went to Azkaban when I was three years old, so I didn't really have memories of her. I was left with my mother's sister, Narcissa, who took me in and raised me along with her husband, Lucius Malfoy. I grew up with my cousin, Draco, who I kind of saw as a younger brother. When my mother escaped from Azkaban when I was seventeen years old, I was happy to see her again. Our relationship stayed very shallow, though. I think she never wanted to carry a baby, and that I was merely a mistake. It didn't matter to me, though. I was happy to know who my mother was and to be in her presence.

The year my mother escaped from Azkaban was also my last year at Hogwarts. After that, I stayed at Malfoy Manor, as one of Voldemort's followers for the following year. It was logical for me to become a Death Eater, since both my parents were. It didn't happen, though. I wasn't sure why, up until recently...

''Lillian, you are summoned by our Lord,'' a voice said after I heard my bedroom door being opened.

''Have you never heard of knocking?'' I snapped at Wormtail, who cringed at my words. I didn't like to admit it to myself, or maybe I did, but I kind of liked the way he was afraid of me. It made me feel powerful.

I sighed, got up from the bed I had been lying on, and pushed past Wormtail, who jumped out of the way. I walked briskly down the stairs, into the large room where I knew the Dark Lord would be. I opened the doors, and walked in. I was looking at a chair, it's back faced to me, but I could feel His presence. ''My Lord?'' I said, to let him know I had arrived.

''Ah, Lillian. Thank you for coming,'' His voice said in an unpleasant, inhuman way. My mother stood a couple of feet away from the chair, looking at Voldemort in a sickening, loving way. Ever since I had seen my mother after she had escaped from Azkaban, I had known that she was deeply in love with him. All the more reason to believe I was a mistake.

''Lillian, I believe you have finished your seventh year at Hogwarts, last summer?'' Voldemort asked. I nodded, but remembered that he obviously couldn't see me doing so. ''Yes, my Lord,'' I added quickly.

''Then, I am sure you are familiar with the Weasley family.''

Oh, I was familiar with them, all right. There was no family I despised more than the Weasley's. Not only were they blood traitors, to be friendly with Muggles and _work_ with their sort of things, but there were two in particular that I deeply hated. Fred and George Weasley had made my years at Hogwarts a lot more complicated than I had anticipated. They were in the same year as me and had bothered my from day one, with their stupid, immature pranks.

''Yes, My Lord, I am,'' I said.

''Good. I have an important task for you to fulfill.''

I could see my mother's wide grin in the dull light of the torches that were lit in the room. I could also feel myself becoming warmer and I also smiled a little. _I_ had to perform an important task? For the Dark Lord?

''Two members of the Weasley family started a business recently, at Diagon Alley. They fare good, if my sources are not mistaking. I want you to go and _work_ at their shop, Lillian.''

I stared at the chair, the small smile wiped off my face entirely. I hadn't expected this at all. I thought I had to go and...kidnap Harry Potter from Hogwarts for crying out loud, at least _something_ of equal taste. But this was just...totally **un**heroic.

''By all means, my Lord... What exactly would that achieve?'' I asked carefully, not wanting to enrage Voldemort. I heard my mothers gasp and she finally moved. She came walking towards me. ''My dear, don't you understand? This is an excellent opportunity to distract and destroy those _filthy_ blood traitors! If you manage to infiltrate the Weasley family, it would be so much easier to get to Harry Potter!'' my mother explained as she walked around me, combing through my inherited curly hair with her long, bony fingers.

''Indeed it is, Bellatrix,'' Voldemort agreed. ''If you succeed the task of penetrating Weasley territory, I wish for you to send and owl to inform us. Then I will give further instructions, concerning your next moves. You will leave for Diagon Alley tomorrow. If you do not succeed...then I fear that I might not be in need of any of your services any more.''

I stiffened and so did my mother, whose head snapped towards the chair. ''My Lord!'' she whispered. ''I'm sure my daughter can perform other tasks if this one doesn't-''

''I have made myself clear, Bellatrix! This is how it must be,'' Voldemort interrupted her. I swallowed hard, suddenly feeling very queasy.

''My Lord... I doubt that they will trust me. In my years at Hogwarts, I hated them,and they hated my back. I don't think they would even consider-''

''Then you must be cunning, and think of a way, my dear. Now, I wish to speak to Bellatrix. Alone.''

I looked up at my mother, who didn't show any sign of worry anymore, whatsoever. I looked away, turned and walked to the door, but stopped.

''My Lord, can I ask one question?'' I asked in a soft voice. I didn't get a response, so that probably meant yes.

''I believe you know that I have wished to become a Death Eater, ever since I left Hogwarts. Have you not considered me becoming one?''

''I have, Lillian. But I don't think the Weasley's would appreciate you very much if you carried The Mark on your wrist, would they?''

I felt relief wash over me. The only reason I wasn't a Death Eater, was because of this task! I smiled to myself, walked to the doors of the room, opened them and stepped into the hallway. It was best to go to bed straight away. Tomorrow was going to be a very important day, and I didn't want to mess it up. Tomorrow I was going to prove myself a worthy follower of the Dark Lord. Tomorrow I would start my quest to destroy the Weasley family.

**A/N: **_Well, so much for the first chapter! Don't worry, there WILL be Fred/Lillian coming up, obviously, but you would have to subscribe to this story to read all about that! I have a whole future planned ahead, up to the Deathly Hallows Hogwarts Battle, so if I receive enough reviews to keep me motivated, I will write on! Please don't hesitate to review, by all means, reviews are my biggest love :)! Oh, and I would like to hear some of your opinions on this: do you want Fred still to die in the Battle of Hogwarts? I have a version of that in my head, which I will obviously not tell you, but maybe you guys have some other suggestions that I might decide to use. Anyway, thank you so much for reading, and again: don't forget to __**subscribe and review**__!_

_X, Bibi_


	2. A Plan

I woke up that morning, but I wished I hadn't. I would have just died in my sleep, if I had had the choice. I knew for sure that there was no way that they would let _me_, Lillian LeStrange, the worst Slytherin even **I** had ever met, set but one toe in their shop, let alone listen to a word I have to say. Of course, I couldn't blame them. I knew what an incredible bitch I was, to everyone who wasn't in Slytherin, and even a few of them. This was never going to work out, and I would be killed by Voldemort. Of course, Voldemort didn't 'just kill' people. They had to understand _why_ they were killed. No doubt my mother would use her favorite spell on me beforehand, so that she can show me exactly how disappointed she was. I could all see it clearly, before my eyes, which caused me to bump into someone.

''Watch it, you-'' I started, until I saw who was blocking my way. ''Oh! Draco, I hadn't seen you. I'm sorry,'' I said. He had been back for the Christmas holidays, but I hadn't spoken to him once. He closed the door of his bedroom, which he had just exited, and turned his head to face me. His face was in a permanent grimace nowadays, I hadn't seen him smile for ages. I felt sorry for him. I always knew that he wanted to be like his father. Following in his footsteps, doing what's right for our family. I think he just didn't understand what that meant exactly, up until recently. I think he was afraid of Voldemort.

''It's good that I get to see you. I'm leaving today.''

''So I heard.''

It was quiet for a moment, an awkward silence hanging in the air. ''I have to-''

''I know what you have to do. And it's madness, Lillian, and you know it.''

I pulled a face and looked down. I knew he was right. I knew that this whole entire mission was completely mental, but I had no choice, did I? I couldn't just walk up to Voldemort and say: ''Hey, y'know what? I'm not going to obey your orders.'' It was suicide.

''I know, Draco. But I have to do this. I can't disobey His orders,'' I said, looking up to him and giving him a small smile. This would probably be the last time I saw him. He didn't respond, so I sighed and pulled him into a hug.

''Goodbye, Draco,'' I said, releasing him and walking on to my bedroom. I didn't need to bring much. I had a small bag with some spare clothes, but I didn't own anything else that I found worth taking with me. My wand was pressed to my side by the edge of my skirt and covered by my blouse. I always kept it there, not wanting to put it in my bag, in case of losing it.

I made my way to the room I knew my family would be in. I entered and a couple of people looked up. Narcissa was the first one to rush to me. ''Oh, child,'' she said, stroking my hair. ''Good luck, dear,''she said, giving me an encouraging smile. I nodded and smiled back. My mother didn't bother walking towards me. She looked at me from a distance, the slightest bit of disapprove in her face. ''Good luck, child,'' she said uninterested before she went back to whatever she had been doing. I wasn't effected much by this. I knew my mother didn't feel much like a mother. The only reason that she had reacted so shocked yesterday evening, was because Voldemort had said that if I didn't succeed, he would kill me, and she was afraid that he would blame her for giving birth to such a miserable child.

I walked through the great doors of Malfoy Mansion. I walked over the gravel road, trying not about my death too much. If I didn't believe in myself, I would never succeed. Maybe with a little bit of luck, I stood a very, very small chance of getting into the right direction. I opened the large, black gate and stepped outside. I closed it again and walked on a couple of meters. Then, I Disapparated.

Of course, I didn't go to Diagon Alley straight away. I was cleverer than to think that I could just stroll in there, asking for a job. I Apparated to London, King's Cross to be exact. It was the only place that I could think of at that moment. I started walking without a destination, thinking about what I should do. I had to come up with a plan. Come on, I used to be great at plans! Back at Hogwarts, I always had _something_ up my sleeve to get out of nearly everything. The only one that didn't fall for my charades was Dumbledore, who could see clean through me. This fact annoyed me very much, by the way. But Dumbledore was at Hogwarts, so I wouldn't be bothered with him anymore.

I stopped walking when I realized where I was. I stood in front of the magical gate, leading to Platform 9 ¾. I looked at it for a couple of minutes. I hadn't realized up until now how much I actually missed school. Sure, I'd had tough times, fights with other students and bad grades now and then, but it also felt like a second home. I had spent most part of the past seven years in that castle, it was logical to have _some_ connection with the damn building, right?

I sat down against the brick pillar opposite of the gate, and stared at it. Of course, I wouldn't be able to go to the platform now. The gate was closed. But if it had been possible, I would have gone there, just to be around a little bit of magic.

I woke up when I was roughly shaken. ''Oi, girl. You can't sleep here!'' a burly voice barked. I opened my eyes and looked up to a train conductor who was frowning at me. ''All right, all right,'' I said, shaking his had off my shoulder as I got up. I glared at him, ignoring the urge to pull out my wand, and left. I searched for a clock somewhere, and when I found one, I saw that it was almost six in the afternoon. Great, I had been sleeping for, what, eight hours? Then why wasn't I waken up any sooner? I figured it must have been some magical thing or something. Maybe I'd cast a masking spell in my sleep and it had worn off. Yeah, right.

It was completely dark outside (hooray for winter, not), and heavy rain poured down from the sky. Of course, why the bloody hell not? I walked through the rain with a big frown on my face, and made my way to the Leaky Cauldron. My bag was completely drenched so changing into dry clothes wasn't an option. Great, the first impression of the guys would be-

My eyes widened and I stopped walking. There! I had it! I had a plan. A smile crept upon my face and I silently praised the rain. I quickly resumed my pace and quickened it. I reached the Leaky Cauldron and went inside. It was warm in here and I had to fight the temptation to just stay here. I slipped past the few people that were in the pub, not wanting to draw too much attention. I sat down in the corner of the pub, hoping to be invisible. There I sat, braining out my plan. I had come up with the rough lines, but I had to work out the details. This wasn't going to be easy, so I couldn't make a single mistake.

When it was almost ten in the evening, I got up from my seat and went into the small space at the back of the pub. I walked to the brick wall and pulled out my wand. I was about to raise my wand to open the wall and enter Diagon Alley, but stopped. Had I honestly _forgotten_ how to enter? I snorted, angry with myself, put my wand away and Apparated. I appeared at the other side of the wall, about one meter away from where I had been moments ago. This was probably the shortest distance I had even Apparated, if you didn't count the Apparation lessons I had had in school.

I waited for about fifteen minutes, in the rain. It was still a little bit too warm to snow, I guessed, because I hadn't seen snow at all this year. It probably wouldn't take long before the first snowflakes would fall, though.

Most shops had closed already and by now, I was the only one who was still outside. After I was sure there wasn't a dry spot of clothing left on me, I strolled to the shop I had been eying the whole time. I took a deep breath, trying to control my nerves. Once I was certain that I could do this, I laid down against the doors of the shop. I must have looked like some passed out drunk person, which was kind of what I was going for. I sat up a little, then banged the door as hard as I could with my entire upper body. It hardly hurt, thanks to the cold rain that had numbed my body, and I closed my eyes, waiting for a response. After a while, I heard dull voices and muffles footsteps. The door I was lying against opened, and I fell into the store. I decided not to pretend like I was asleep, but just very tired, so that I could still talk.

''Blimey, are you alright?''

I was looking at a red headed young man, who looked at me in shock. ''Do I look like I'm alright?'' I groaned, slowly getting up. The boy closed the door and looked at me. After a couple of seconds, realization struck his face, and he raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms.

''Well well, would you look at this, George,'' he said a little loud. From the back of the shop another young man appeared, and he walked over to us. It took a couple of seconds for him to recognize me, but when he did, he copied his brother.

''If it isn't Little Lillian,'' George said, using the name he and his brother gave me when we were still in school. I don't really know why they called me little, seeing I was little at all. I was about 5'10 I'd say, and I wasn't very thin or anything. I had girly curves and sometimes even required a size 14 in some shops. I wasn't _petite_, to use the phrase that I despise so deeply, so they probably called me little because I was just shorter than them, because it fitted with my name, and because they were mocking me.

I looked up to the twins with a guilty look in my eyes. ''I... I know we hadn't the best of times together at Hogwarts... But I've been kicked out of my house.''

Fred and George looked at each other, clearly faking their shocked expressions. ''You heard that, George?''

''I believe I do, Fred. Kicked out of the house, you say?''

I glared at the two brothers. I knew they would react this way. I was surprised they hadn't thrown me out yet.

''I ended up here and you are the only people I know around here... I was hoping that I could maybe...get a job at your shop? You know...behind the cash register, sorting out deliveries...'' I said doubtfully. I stared at the floor, not wanting to see their reactions. This was when they would refuse, kick me out and I would have to return to Malfoy Mansion to be killed. Of course, I could run, trying to flee from Voldemort, but that would never work. Fleeing from Voldemort. In your dreams.

''Hmm...What do you think, George?''

''Well... I suppose we _could_ use some help around here. Maybe cleaning up our customers vomit and blood after trying out some of our Puking Pastilles and Nosebleed Nougat. Give us just one moment.''

My head snapped up in shock at their words and I watched them as they walked to the back of the shop. Were they actually considering letting me stay? The twins eyed me suspiciously for a moment. After a couple of minutes, they returned.

''Well, consider yourself, hired, miss. I figure you need a place to sleep, as well?'' the one I recognized as George asked me. I nodded.

''Well, than in that case, how bout we pay you with a room to stay in?''

This couldn't get any better. This was actually a better deal than I'd expected.

''Er, yes! That's wonderful!'' I said, smiling.

''In that case, let me allow you to show you where you will be staying,'' Fred said, turning and walking towards the back of the store. I frowned, clearly hearing the overdramatic tone in their voices, but it didn't really matter. All that mattered, what that I was in.

I followed Fred up a pair of stairs that led to the rooms they lived in. He opened a door to a room that was almost empty. There was a bed, a nightstand and a closet, but that was all.

''Welcome to our guest suite,'' he said, grinning. ''You can use the bathroom if you want and there should be some plain shirts in that closet if you need something to sleep in. The store opens at nine, so if you could be down at eight, we will show you will be doing. Goodnight,'' he said, still with a mocking grin on his face as I walked into the room, putting my wet bad on the ground.

''Fred,'' I said, stopping him from leaving. ''Thank you,'' I said, putting up the best ''I'm so grateful'' face I possibly could. Fred nodded at me, then closed the door.

My gratefulness wasn't entirely staged, of course, if it wasn't for those two idiots, I would be dead by now. I couldn't help but grinning, seeing my plan went perfectly. And this was only the beginning...

**A/N:** _Thank you _one_ person for reviewing my story xD. Come on guys, reviewing is important for wannabe writers like me! I just know that you guys love it too when people review your stories when you write one! Okay, now ontopic: so much for chapter 2. What do you guys think: are Fred and George too trustworthy? Did they agree too fast, or was it all right? Please give me some feedback, the story can only get better from it! If you have any other thought on the future of the story, ideas on things, please let me know, I welcome all suggestions :)! Don't forget to __**subscribe and review!**_

_X, Bibi_


	3. Vomit

That night, I had trouble sleeping. It was almost too good to be true that Fred and George had just agreed to my stay. I didn't trust it.

I had been lying in my bed in my dark room, but there was still a small streak of light, peeking from underneath the door. I sighed, got out of bed, walked to the door and exited my room. I peeked down the stairs. It was completely dark downstairs, so I decided to walk to the small living room. It was dimly lit when I entered, and I looked around. It was small, but actually pretty nice. There was a couch, a small table in front of it and a bookcase which was, of course, not filled with books, but with Fred and George's inventions.

''Is the bed not comfortable for you?'' someone said. I looked at the couch, which was occupied by a mischievously grinning Fred. I always managed to recognize who was who. I've got no idea _how_ I did it, maybe because I served so much detention with both of them, but they had slight differences in their faces which allowed me to always know who I was talking to.

I raised an eyebrow at his expression. He hadn't done anything to my bed, right...? I would have to check later.

''Eh, it was, but...I had a question actually. I'm very happy that you let me stay here, and I don't want to spoil it of course, but...you and George hate me. Why did you let me stay so easily?''

Fred laid down the Daily Prophet, which he had been reading, on the table in front of him.

''Well. We were always taught by our parents that you have to forgive people who seek for forgiveness,'' he said as if he didn't have a choice. ''Of course, we don't grant everyone our mercy, but we couldn't just kick you out again, could we? You looked like a bloody drowned cat,'' he said. I glared at him, but I knew he was probably right. I tried to ignore the fact that he and his brother had actually been **nice** to me.

''Okay...well, that's all. I'll be off to bed now...'' I said, still a little bit confused.

''I thought as much,'' Fred said with a meaningful look. I didn't understand what he meant by that, when I remembered that I stood here, talking to Fred, in merely a shirt and underpants. I pulled a face, murmured a quick ''Bye,'' and raced out of the room, to my bedroom. I checked the entire bed twice before daring to get in again, though I couldn't find anything.

I wasn't sure if the conversation with Fred had made me less suspicious, or more. They had every reason to mistrust me, so their decision to let me stay, gave me more reason to mistrust them. I would have to find out whether my suspicions were correct or not.

I still couldn't sleep at all.

Working at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes was definitely **not** boring at all. While Fred and George wandered around the shop, helping customers and demonstrating their products, I was the one behind the cash register, selling the goods. The first day I started at the shop, I received an own from Narcissa. She asked me how things had gone and if I had made any progress. I replied to her, explaining what I had done, knowing that they would be happy with my progress. I got a reply back that it was now my job to 'just go with it' and wait for new orders. I knew this cold take up to months of waiting, and I had to mentally prepare myself for spending months with Fred and George.

The shop was always crowded. There wasn't a day that there weren't a lot of customers. Who knew that those boys would actually succeed in their things. After a busy day at 93 Diagon Alley, I sighed as I waved my wand at the ''Open'' sign, which now said ''Closed''. I walked to the back of the store to grab a bucket and cloth, to mop the floor. The floor was **always** dirty at the end of the day, since there were quite a few disgusting products available at the shop. First I thought I wasn't going to live through the week, cleaning up chunky vomit every day, but after a while I just used a charm to mask the smell and it wasn't so bad anymore.

''Lillian, are you sure you didn't make a mistake when you gave back change to a customer today? I think we've got two Sickle's too much in here,'' George said just as I finished mopping the floor. He was busy with the paperwork and I put down the bucket with goo to roll up my sleeve that had slid down my arm.

''No, it was a tip,'' I said, pulling up my sleeve. I know, _why_ hadn't I just taken the money and put it in my own pocket. It was a tip after all. Well actually, it was just change that a customer didn't want, which counts as a tip, right? I wanted to take it, but I didn't need the money. I didn't have to pay for anything actually. Of course, I could have just taken it anyway, but I wasn't a thief. I mean, I had _taken_ Draco's wand once when I was in my fourth year, because I couldn't find mine and some idiot had decided it was funny to put a charm on my shoes, so that they would make an awful squeaking noise whenever I moved. I thought it was only fair to keep Draco's wand until I found mine, which was about a week later, somewhere on the bottom of my schoolbag. But that wasn't _theft_, that was _borrowing_. Thievery was for...poor people. I wasn't poor. So...that's why.

''Oh, well in that case, you can have it,'' George said, holding out the Sickles to me. I looked at his hand, than slowly looked up at him.

''You're not...pranking me, are you?'' I asked suspiciously.

''No why would... Wait, I've got tons of reasons to... But no, I'm not. For your hard work, let's say.''

I eyed him for a couple of seconds more, then hold up my hand under his. He dropped the Sickles in my hand, and went back to his work. I stared at my hand. This was...odd. And totally unexpected.

Though they were acting kind of nice to me, I knew Fred and George didn't fully trust me yet. Whenever I left the store or came back, they would eye me suspiciously, as if I was up to something. I wasn't up to anything good, of course, but I didn't dare make any moves before getting orders. At the end of every day I would sit in my room, waiting for the next letter that said what my next move should be. But I waited for days, and nothing came. Fred and George had left for a couple of days to celebrate Christmas at the Burrow, leaving me behind. They (obviously) didn't ask if I wanted to come, but they did tell me not to go down to the store. I knew better than to disobey, I was fairly sure that they had set up a fine set of booby traps in case I did decide to go snooping.

Snow had finally come when Fred and George got back after Christmas, and business went on as usual. After a busy Wednesday afternoon, George asked me if I wanted to check the cash register to see if everything had gone right that day. I was glad to finally do something else than mopping the floor, so I happily agreed. I dove into the paperwork, but after almost an hour had passed and Fred came to check on me, I had the biggest frown on my face and the paperwork was spread out in a one meter radius around me.

''Making...progress?'' Fred said jokingly. I looked up, giving him a death glare, then went back to the paperwork.

''I just don't get anything!'' I exclaimed, throwing my hands in the air to show my frustration.

''I can see that. Look, just start at the beginning. Here, this one,'' he said, grabbing a piece of paper that I hadn't seen before and handing it over to me. I grabbed it and looked at it. I still didn't get any of it.

''And...now?''

Fred sighed and sat down next to me.

''You just start counting these...then write it down. Then the next, until you've got everything.''

It took Fred almost another hour for me to finally understand what he was trying to explain (I couldn't believe that _they_ were even better at this, but then again I sucked at Arithmancy), but eventually I got it. Fred finished the paperwork, since it would probably still take at least five hours for me to finish it, even though I got it, so I finished closing up the shop.

I didn't attempt to do any more of the paperwork after that evening, feeling like it just wasn't for me. I, surprisingly, favored the cleaning part. One evening, when I just cleaned up the floor, I went to throw away the dirty, vomit filled bucket of water. Sure, there were special cauldrons to puke in whenever you wanted to try out a Puking Pastille, but there were always morons who couldn't reach it in time.

I walked to the back of the store, when a door to my left opened with force, slamming against the bucket. I fell back, feeling a lukewarm fluid pouring over my head. I wanted to gasp but I refused to open my mouth. In stead, I pressed my lips together, closed my eyes and froze. I did **not** just get covered in vomitstuff.

I could probably fight the urge to throw up myself, because Fred, who had caused this unbelievably unfortunate action, couldn't stop laughing and it boiled my insides. I wiped my face with my sleeve,which was not entirely dry anymore either, and opened my eyes. I can guarantee that if I had been a dragon, Fred would have been toast.

''That...was the best...unintentional prank...I've ever performed!'' he managed to say through his laughs.

I gritted my teeth and before I even knew what I was doing, I grabbed the bucket, which wasn't entirely empty yet, and threw the remaining fluid over Fred. He gasped and stopped laughing in shock. But then he just straightened up, and chuckled.

''Guess I deserved that, didn't I?'' he chuckled, taking off his jacket. I stared at him. Wasn't he going to get angry? Because I would love to get in a fight, right now. I was mad as hell!

''What's that bloody awful smell,'' George said as he came down the stairs, when he saw Fred and me, covered in the water/vomit mixture. He started laughing, causing Fred to laugh, causing me to be even more pissed off, and I stormed up the stairs, into my room. I was so angry at them for laughing at me, and I didn't know how to let my anger out. Normally I would just have a fit against someone in a lower year, or Wormtail, but here I didn't have anyone yell at.

I didn't want to sit down on my bed, I wasn't planning on sleeping in vomit, tonight, thank you very much, so I paced around my room, trying to stop being angry. It wasn't working though, and the awful smell that came off my clothes and hair wasn't helping either. I could feel my nose prickle, a sign that something bad was going to come. My eyes slowly started to get wet and my lower lip started to tremble. Great. I was going to cry. Of, the hell with it, what did it matter!

I let out a big sob and the salty water of my tears stung in my eyes. I was about to search for a towel so that I could at least dry off my face, when someone knocked on the door.

''Go away,'' I managed to say, but what was meant to be a clear sentence, came out as a trembling moan.

The door opened, and I quickly turned away, not wanting to show my probably red face. The door closed again,but it remained quiet after that. I didn't want to turn around to see if there was anyone in my room, so I just said: ''What is it?''.

''I'm...sorry?''

I frowned and turned around. It was Fred, who was holding out a very pleasant looking towel. I took it from his hands, folding it open and examined it thoroughly. There wasn't anything suspicious looking about the piece of cloth, so I wiped my face dry and looked at Fred again.

''I'm sorry? That's all?''

Fred shrugged. ''It's all I can say, ain't it? I got my payback. I actually thought it was pretty funny.''

''Well, I didn't!'' I snapped, my eyes filling up with tears again.

Fred took a step closer to me. ''I'm sorry, I didn't want to make you cry,'' he quickly said, taking the towel from my hands and wiping something off my shoulder. There was an awkward silence, until I sniffed loudly and let out a dry cough.

''You can use the bathroom first. You know where to find the towels,'' Fred said, turning and opening the door. I nodded and walked by him, making my way to the bathroom. Stupid vomitwater. Stupid Puking Pastilles. Stupid Shop. Stupid Fred. I hated everything.

**A/N:** _Thank you so much: __**porque te quiero...**__, __**MNM and GIR means FRENDZ 4EVA**__ and __**Fred Weasley's Wife**__ for reviewing! Please, if you have any ideas for the story, you can always PM me to share your thoughts with me! New ideas are always welcome, I can't guarantee that I will use them though :3. I found this chapter very hard to write...Something had to happen between Lillian and Fred to get them closer together... I could use some ideas though xD. So don't be shy! I will give you credit of course!_

_Anyway, what did you think of this chapter? What would you like to see in the next chapter?Let me know! Don't forget to __**subscribe and review**__!_

_X, Bibi_


	4. Pain From the Past

_Nausea hit me when I realized where I was. Again. I tried so very hard not to come to this point, but I eventually always did. The more I fought it, the worse it became. I just had to endure it, and hope that it would be over soon. _

_I was in a room. It was dark,the curtains already closed, for it was nighttime. I sat on a chair, looking down. Angry grown-ups paced through the room, shouting at me. _

_''How could you! Do you want to disgrace out entire family! Wait until your mother hears of this!''_

_I cringed at the words. I had heard them so many times already, but they remained terrifying. I looked up, to look at the angry, twisted face of my uncle. Lucius. I had never really liked him. He always spoke like he had a hot potato in his mouth, the way he talked so overly posh. He looked down at me, with wide eyes and an angry face. Behind him, Narcissa was sitting on the edge of the sofa, looking at me with an blank expression._

_''I'm...I'm sorry,'' I muttered. ''I didn't mean to-''_

_''Didn't mean to what, hmm? Didn't mean to make us angry? Didn't mean for us to find out?''_

_''No, I didn't mean to like him.''_

_I liked a Muggle. It was summer, I had just finished my fourth year at Hogwarts. I had been wandering outside, growing bored of the life between the walls of Malfoy Manor. I decided to go out, exploring the world by myself. But I had met a Muggle boy, that I liked very much. My family, on the other hand, didn't like him. I don't know how they found out, but this afternoon, Lucius was furious when I came home. He threw a fit, telling me how worthless I was for blending in with the Muggle world. Before I had met the boy, I didn't really care about Muggles, or Lucius' hate for them. But now I was angry, because I couldn't talk with a normal, non-magic boy? Why not! Of course, Narcissa would never stick up for me. Not even if she actually disagreed with Lucius. She would never, and I hated it. I hated that she was a coward. _

_I couldn't say this to them, of course, I wouldn't dare. I didn't want to risk a Cruciatus curse, thank you very much. So I kept quiet, looked down and wished it to be over. Of course, all of it would be over. I wouldn't be allowed to talk to the boy anymore, I wouldn't even be allowed to _tell_ him I couldn't talk to him anymore. But I was wrong. It was way worse. _

_Lucius walked away, still angry, and came back after a while. I heard a whimper and I looked up. Lucius was holding the boy by his arm, dragging him towards me. My lower lip started to tremble: I knew this was going to end bad._

_''Now you watch...'' Lucius said as he drew his wand. I looked at the boy, trembling in my chair, and he looked back at me with pure fear in his eyes. Lucius must have put a spell on his lips, because he seemed to be trying to open them, but he was unable to. Lucius raised his wand, and spat out the curse that every wizard feared. Thick tears rolled down my cheeks as the boy fell to the ground, and I clutched my stomach. I jumped off the chair and ran for it, fleeing to the nearest bathroom. I reached it just in time, and threw out the entire content of my stomach._

I jolted up, panting heavily and cold sweat dripping down my forehead. It took me a minute to calm down, but I couldn't stop trembling. My eyes were wet (I must have cried in my sleep) and I had kicked the sheets off my bed. I took a deep breath and got out of bed. I took the sheets from the floor and put them on my bed again. But I didn't go to bed. I walked over to the window and opened it. I needed some fresh air. I sat in the windowsill, staring off into the dark, misty sky. I knew why I had gotten the dream again. The smell of the ''accident'' that day had triggered my memory. I had linked the sour, disgusting smell of throw up with that memory, making me have the dream again. It wasn't always that dream, though.

There had been a similar incident, when I was ten. I had found a stray dog once, wandering around the garden of Malfoy Manor. I loved him right away, and took him inside. Lucius didn't want a god in the house, though. He said that dogs were filthy animals that didn't belong in his house. I took the dog outside again, but he kept on returning. When Lucius had had enough, he wanted me to kill the dog. Of course, I wasn't able to do that, so he did it for me. That was the first time I had actually seen a living creature die before my eyes, and I couldn't even reach the nearest toilet to throw my insides in. Yes, I had thrown up on both occasions. I had learned to become less vulnerable for this though. The moment I got back from my first year at Hogwarts, and I possessed a wand, I was taught how to perform the Cruciatus curse. It was my mother's last wish to Narcissa before she was taken to Azkaban. For me to be taught how to perform the Cruciatus curse. It took me a **long** time to get the hang of it: I really didn't want to learn the spell. I was utterly afraid of it, mainly because I had suffered from the curse a fair few times.

But I quickly understood that if I didn't show my best effort, I would cost me. So I started to do my best. And it worked. By the time I was thirteen, I could cast a decent Cruciatus, which made the authorities happy. Basically, the rule I made up for myself was: if they are happy, I am happy. And if they weren't happy, I would get punished.

I tried to push away all those memories before they would take over and I would start some serious weeping. I shivered, I was literally freezing outside, and I got up and closed the window again. I got back in bed and hoped that I hadn't made any sounds while I was dreaming. If I had to tell Fred and George about my dreams, I had to tell them about my past, which would definitely convince them that I was insane and weak. They wouldn't understand the pressure that I was under when I tortured people. I didn't _like_ doing it. I hated to admit it, but I wish I never learned the curse at that age. I hated it, I still hate it, but I was told that it was good, and that it was required to do it. What eleven year old would choose to endure excruciating pain, when you can walk away from it?

But no, _they_ would probably have endured it, because they were _Gryffindors_, and they were _brave_. Just wait until my plan had worked out. Then they would be so ashamed for their foolishness. Yes, I thought my plan was pretty neat. The first step was already taken: getting into Fred and George's lives. I managed to get a job at their shop, even live in the very same house as them.

The next step, was to gain their trust. I was already building up credit, by working here and showing them that I wasn't the spoiled brat they ought me to be, but it was hard. I was a LeStrange after all. I had to speed things up a little. At Hogwarts, I was a pretty good Potions student. At my finals I got an O (not _only_ because Snape was my teacher), because I pretty much got every single potions right. I plan to brew a new kind of potion, which makes the drinker under some sort of...trance, let's say. It kind of works like the Imperius curse, but where that curse leaves a trace, my potion shouldn't. The drinker shouldn't be able to remember that he was under the influence of the potion, so that when it wears off, they wont immediately know it was me.

That's why I sometimes left Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. I went to look for information, sometimes I went to Borgin and Burkes to find out new things about potions. Unfortunately I didn't have my books from Hogwarts anymore, they would have come in handy very much. But it was no disaster, I just needed time to design this potion. I just prayed I would have this time, and that Voldemort didn't need me to act sooner than that. It could become very tricky that way.

Once I've got my potion and Voldemort wants me to make the next move, it would probably involve getting to Harry Potter. This was the hard part. Voldemort had had so many chances to finish the boy, and every time a lot op people died, except for Harry. There was a chance that I would lose my life, but I was surprised I'd even gotten this far.

It wouldn't be easy to lure Harry into a trap. However, I think that if I ''let slip'' something about his parents, or something else he seems obsessed about, he would probably come after _me_, in stead of me chasing him around. The it would be a piece of cake to lead him to Voldemort. The Weasley twins would be so ashamed that they lead Harry into the hands of Voldemort, because they just let me get to Harry, and they would be disgraced by their family. The Weasley's would grieve about Harry's death (_bloodtraitors!_), and my task would be fulfilled. Now I just had to get there.

I turned onto my other side, and closed my eyes. I may have been distracted by stupid memories of my past, but tomorrow I was going to get straight back to business and back on track. I wasn't going to let Fred and George's stupid pranks take my eyes of the prize. I was stronger than that. Tomorrow, I would be myself again.

**A/N: **_But is the cold, bitter Lillian, the _real_ Lillian o_O? We don't know, do we? Hmm...what do you think? Please __**review**__ and tell me what you think Lillian is going to do? Will she succeed, or at least attempt to finish her grand masterplan? Will it work out? Will she be caught? Will she have second thoughts?Will she fall in love with Fred? Okay that one's obvious. Oh god, I just realized that Lillian and Fred are like.. not even flirting o_O. The Lillian/Fred rate isn't very high, is it xD. Well I just wanted to say: I __**hate**__ fanfics where two characters are very different from each other, but they have some special connection or something, that makes them fall in love at first sight. I love the struggle and drama xD. But, this does bring up another question: do you guys have any ideas about bringing Lillian and Fred closer together? Please put it in a __**review**__ or PM me to let me know, I'd love to use some of your wishes! _

_This chapter was bas__ed on __**porque te quiero. . .**__'s review by the way, who asked for some background stories about Lillian. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter! You've helped me to set some good borders and stuff for in the future. Any more ideas: I'd love to hear them! And to all of you who haven't subscribed and/or reviewed yet (and for those who __**have**__ reviewed :D), __**subscribe and review**__ please! We love them :D!_

_X, Bibi_


	5. Loyalty and Concience

The next day, I felt worse than I had for ages. I couldn't concentrate on anything. I knocked over things, I bumped into people. I couldn't get the images that had come back the night before, out of my head. I was feeling queasy at random times and I had a headache from the moment I woke up.

I wasn't me. I had no idea _why_ I suddenly felt so...ill. It was like I was coming down with fever, but I knew that that wasn't it. I was clever enough to understand that I was (literally) getting sick of myself.

After breakfast and I'd made a second trip to the bathroom to throw out my insides, George ordered me to stay in bed and Fred threatened to Stun me and lock me in my room if I didn't go freely. So I went back to bed and rolled up under the blankets. I had to ask myself a question. A question that was scary, because you had to admit to yourself that there was something happening. But I had to do it, if I didn't want to get seriously ill, that is. _What was wrong with me?_

I never had...issues with being nasty to people. Back at Hogwarts, I used to terrorize people all the time. I remember one time in my fifth year, that Draco told me about Neville Longbottom. He was a rather pathetic example of a Gryffindor, mind you. I mean, I _know_ that Gryffindors are supposed to be brave and all, but Neville sure didn't look like it. Draco even told me he passed out when he saw a Mandrake in class!

Anyway, Draco told me that in Defense Against the Dark Arts class, Neville's Boggart was professor Snape. I thought that Snape should know about this matter, and told him about it. I decided **not** to leave out the part where Snape had been wearing the green outfit that Neville's grandmother usually wore. As expected, this was enough to let Snape get angry with the boy, which probably caused him to wet his pants. I wasn't there to enjoy it, but I appreciate even the indirect pleasure, knowing that it would work out perfectly.

But now it just felt like...I was going too far. I was caught in the middle between loyalty to my family and what I was feeling inside of me.

I turned onto my other side and tried not to think about it anymore, but I couldn't keep it away. I felt like if I tried any harder, my head would explode. I couldn't keep it all in anymore, so I just let it go. I allowed myself to feel, for the first time in...well a long time.

_What am I doing? I am using people, who actually seem like nice people, to get to an other nice person, to..what? Kill him? Why? Because some stupid old warlock told me so? What had that boy done wrong? He lived. He had to die, because all he had done, was not dieing as a baby. And now, the assassin sought revenge. And I have to do the dirty work for him, so that he only needs to wave his wand and kill him. And if I don't do that, if I disobey, I will be killed. I will be killed, because I don't want to cooperate in a ridiculous plan to kill an innocent boy. How can this _possibly_ be right? _

I don't think I had ever cried this hard in my life. I tried very hard to make it soundless, minus the occasional sob, but I didn't want Fred or George to hear. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't just **not** do my assignment, I would be dead within moments. But I also wasn't sure if I wanted to do..this, how difficult it was to admit it. I didn't want to help Voldemort kill people. I didn't want to be raised to hate Muggleborns. I didn't want to act nice to Fred and George, only to stab them in the back and get Harry to Voldemort. Sure, I liked pestering and pranking when I was in school, I still do, but this was too serious, too fatal. I was part of something, that took people's lives for no sane reason whatsoever. And it bothered me _very_ much. I had to sort things out, desperately.

Someone knocked on my door, but I was afraid that if I replied, I would give away that I was crying. The door opened and I laid still, like I was asleep. Someone entered the room and closed the door again. I wanted to look who it was, but if I opened my eyes, it was obvious that I wasn't sleeping **and** that I'd been crying. The person walked over to my bed, and I felt a very annoying itch to open my eyes to see who was in my room.

''I know you're not asleep, Lillian.''

Darn it. I opened my eyes and looked up at Fred. He put a cup of tea on my nightstand and sat down on a chair that was next to it.

''How are you feeling?'' he asked as he sat down. I sat up in bed and wiped my nose with the back of my hand.

''Super,'' I said sarcastically. I must have looked ridiculous. I knew my eyes were still puffy and red from crying and my face was probably a little green.

''Do you want to talk about it?''

My eyes started to water again and there was a lump in my throat. I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him everything. About the task, about Voldemort, about my mother... But if I told him, I don't know who would kill me faster: Voldemort or Fred. I looked at the cup of tea on my nightstand,and that's when I lost it. I buried my face in my hands and cried. I didn't want to do this anymore. I didn't want to be Lillian LeStrange, daughter of Bellatrix the Death Eater. I didn't want to have an important mission from Voldemort. I didn't want to be the one to hand over Harry. I didn't want to become a Death Eater.

A few weeks ago, I would have done anything for all of these facts. But now, I couldn't think of anything worse to do. This person I'd become, trough my upbringing and influences from others, it was just...horrible. I was raised to believe that the Dark Lord was someone to worship, that I had to serve him and defend him. But I didn't want to defend a senile, old man, who had become obsessed with murdering, and one person in particular. It was mental.

Fred's cup of tea only made it worse. I felt more guilty every time he did something nice, because I knew that eventually I was going to have to reveal my real purpose. I was ashamed of myself, a feeling I never had before. I used to be proud of my roots, but now I wished I hadn't grown up with the Malfoys.

''No...I just...I don't know what I want,'' I sobbed. I really didn't. I just wanted to cry it out and figure out what I was going to do when my eyes weren't leaking anymore.

''It's okay. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to,'' Fred said. I let out another sob and dried my face with my sleeve. I was glad he wasn't pushing it. It could get really nasty that way.

A warm hand touched my shoulder and patted it softly. Suddenly the feeling of comfort and ease crept through my body. It was like that single gesture made everything seem less big. Back at Malfoy Manor, whenever I felt scared or uncomfortable, nobody ever told me it was going to be alright, or gave me a pat on the shoulder. I was used to handling those kind of issues on my own. I never thought that something as easy as a touch would make everything seem so much less important.

I looked up at Fred and gave the weakest of smiles. ''I'm sorry, but I just can't talk right now...''

Fred shrugged and smiled back. ''It's okay, you don't have to. Just take your time and stay in bed until you feel better,'' he said, and he got up again. I was almost going to open my mouth to say that I didn't want him to leave, but I shut my mouth again. I didn't even know what I wanted. I didn't want to tell him anything, but I didn't want him to go... I did know that I was very confused.

''Fred,'' I said, just before he was out the door. He turned to face me.

''Thanks...''

He smiled and nodded, then left. I let myself fall back in my pillow and sighed. What on earth was I going to do? I had to do something that I really didn't want to anymore. But how could I possibly **not** do it? I really needed help, but I couldn't ask Fred and George for help, they wouldn't hear a single word I said after I mentioned ''tricked'', ''Voldemort'' and ''Harry''. They would hate me forever. But I just had the urge to spill everything to Fred. I didn't know why, but for some reason I felt more at ease with him than with George, which was strange, because Fred was usually more cruel with his pranks at Hogwarts than George. It didn't really matter anyway. I had to prepare for the moment that Fred and George would find out that I had been lying all along, and that I have to get Harry to Voldemort. I just didn't know if I was going to be able to do so.

That evening, I was feeling much better. Acknowledging to myself that I wasn't agreeing with my actions had cleared my head a little. Now I was stuck with a big dilemma: choosing what I think was right and dieing, or doing as I was told and letting someone else die. Oh, the trouble I'd gotten myself into.

I walked to the living room, where Fred and George were sitting on the sofa, talking about something. When I entered, they stopped talking.

''Hey...I came to take this back. I feel much better'' I said softly, and I turned and walked into the small kitchen. I put the empty cup in the sink and stood there for a while. I needed to find a way to tell them. I couldn't keep this a secret, it was too important. If I let it for what it was, they would find out eventually anyway, and my chances of them forgiving me would be over. I had to tell them before that moment came, but how?

I walked back to the living room. ''I think I'm going back to sleep now... See you guys tomorrow,'' I said to the twins, who smiled at me. Yeah, now you're smiling. If you only knew...

**A/N: **_I hope you guys liked this chapter! I liked writing it and I hope that her feelings towards the whole thing seem real. I mean, who wouldn't hate to grow up like that, right?Thanks __**porque te quiero. . .**__ for your review, it was very useful (as always!) and I love reading your feedback! Also thanks to __**AlishaofTroy**__, __**Trickster707 **__and __**night-star-93**__ for reviewing! I really do love reviews, and if you have any good comments on what should be in the next chapter, I will most likely put it in! Read __**porque te quiero. . .**__'s last review for confirmation :)._

_Anyways, as you could see, Lillian's starting to develop some feelings for Fred, which of course will grow in the following chapters! I know their romance is starting off really slow, but like I said before: I hate fanfics where people are in love after 2 days. Hope you can appreciate this!_

_X, Bibi_


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